The Finder of Lost Things

My desk is a disaster area. Actually my entire home office is a disaster area. To be honest I am a bit of a slob. Things in my home are usually clean. It's just that everything is messy and disorganized. To make things worse I live with 2 other slobs, my husband and my son. Heck, sometimes I think our cat Moe is a bit messy. (The large, long haired, black creature that he is, through no fault of his own, sheds everywhere. It's the kitty version of tumbleweed and that's just what we call it; Moe-tumbleweed. No amount of vacuuming the carpet helps. It's everywhere.)

Getting back to my desk and my home office; there are piles of papers everywhere. Can you say clutter? My desk is a scary place. I just cleaned my desk after today's fiasco (I'm getting to that) and there are still all sorts of strange things on it.

1. A lighter (we aren't smokers, I have no idea where it came from)
2. A tube of Aveeno anti-itch cream (which I assume probably migrated to my desk after any number of mosquito bites last summer)
3. 3 (count them THREE) seamstress measuring tapes
4. A cassette walkman (I'm not quite sure why I still have that dinosaur, but something tells me to hang onto it-yup, I'm a packrat-thanks for passing me that particular trait Grandpa)
5. Disks. Lots of disks. Data disks, music disks, picture disks, video game disks. Most are CD's but we still have some floppy's (we really should transfer all of them onto CD or jump drive and ditch the floppy's, but of course that would take time and we are lazy)
6. A small plaque I received from a cancer organization I used to work with. (They unfortunately had to close their doors a few years back.)

There's more stuff on my desk. The items in the above list are just highlights. Today I realized my checkbook disappeared. I hardly write checks anymore. I usually use my checkbook to note online payments for bills in the register. It's almost always on my desk. It's usually in one of 2 places. Sometimes it's on top of my box of new checks. (The last time I ordered checks they sent me 2 boxes for the price of one. So I figure as long as I don't move I should have enough checks to last the rest of my life). The other place I sometimes put it is on top of the wooden drawers I keep pens, pencils, paperclips etc in. I keep my 2 staplers right in front of this small wooden structure. (I'm not quite sure why I have 2 staplers either. For that matter I have at least 2 calculators.)

Today my checkbook was nowhere to be seen. I started to freak out because I actually had to write a check! I feared my desk was punishing me for allowing it to get so messy. My desk had eaten my checkbook! YIKES!!! In panic I actually started to clear off my desk. I now have a pile of paper that will probably fill at least one large kitchen garbage bag. Still, I could not find my elusive checkbook. When my husband got home with our 4 year old in tow I still hadn't found it.

My husband has a talent for finding things. I can search for 2 hours for something which he can find in 2 minutes. In addition I am a bit oblivious. Something can be right in front of my face and I can miss it (for 2 hours). This particularly holds true when I am stressing because I cannot find the item in question. (You can see where this is going right?)

My husband came into the office and poked around for a few minutes. I yelled at him to get out of the office because I was still looking for my checkbook. He shook his head and left the room. (One of these days I'll learn to just let my husband work his magic.) About 10 minutes later he walked back in and almost immediately came out with my checkbook.

Where was it? Sitting right under one of my staplers, in front of my wooden drawers. Why on earth I stuck the book there is beyond me. But the stupid thing was sitting there the entire time. (My desk is laughing at me right now.)

My husband has, since I met him, claimed the title of "The Finder of Lost Things". He repeatedly proves he has earned it. I think I owe my husband a blow job tonight!