I love my job. I enjoy working kid's birthday parties. I get paid to play. The vast majority of the parties I work go very smoothly. But I get maybe 2-3 parties each year with really weird energy, where the kids are absolutely wired. I recently experienced one.
I walked into the room to set up my gear and smelled chocolate. I love chocolate. It was a heady and decadent smell to walk in to. I was engulfed in the scent. But then I noticed it was coming from a chocolate fountain. At a 4 year old birthday party that is a bad omen. Who has a chocolate fountain at a kid's birthday party? That's an adult thing and it's always done towards the end of the party. I suppose the mom thought it would be elegant. Of course the kids got completely sugared up in the first 10 minutes. They were running around with chocolate smeared all over their faces like a bunch of skinny Augustus Gloops. They had the same whacked out look in their eyes that might appear on a junkies face. Seriously folks, too much sugar is actually a scary thing at a kid's birthday party.
Once a group of kids are flying on a sugar high like that all bets are off. It's usually best to just let them run around like maniacs and burn it off. Unfortunately I was hired to entertain said maniacs. It wasn't happening. I tried everything, and I mean everything to get them involved, but they just were not interested. By the end of the party the mom felt bad and was apologizing profusely and gave me a sizable tip. She was really sweet; the kids were just gone. In retrospect I can laugh at it; it was a funny situation. But I'm glad I wasn't there when they crashed from their massive sugar high!
The best parties are the ones where they give the kids crackers, chips, raw veggies and dip and fresh fruit to snack on along with water bottles and juice boxes to drink. Then they usually give the kids pizza, chicken fingers or hot dogs for the main deal.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Toys, treats and the last days of summer
Toys
When I was a kid things like Slip N Slide were luxuries. We ran around in the backyard with the lawn sprinklers going. My friends and I didn't have in-ground sprinkler systems either. We had those metal propeller looking things that screwed on to the end of a garden hose. These days they sell special sprinklers just for play. Things made out of plastic so you don't rip your foot open if you accidentally step on it. They feature popular kid's TV characters. (I'm having visions of Mel Brooks in Space Balls. "It's all about the moi-chandising!") When someone did have an actual Slip N Slide, it was simply a sheet of plastic. You put a hose on it, ran and then threw yourself on the ground and slid across the thing. We usually got banged up launching ourselves on the ground like that.
We currently live in a condo. So we don't have a backyard to set up a Slip N Slide or yard toys. This afternoon we had a play date with one of Little Man's preschool classmates and her siblings. We knew we would be playing in their backyard. I spoke to the other mom and their sprayer/sprinkler toys were shot. So I decided to treat the kids to a genuine Slip N Slide. It's the perfect time to buy something like that too, because all the stores are completely clearing out their summer stock.
I got the COOLEST Slip and Slide! It was normally $30; I got it marked down, then slashed 50% off. I walked out of the store with this baby for less than $8 after tax! It features a giant shark whose mouth opens and closes simply by water pressure. You actually slide right into the sharks mouth! The entire length of the slide sprays water. Why didn't they make cool toys like that when I was a kid?!
Treats
A smart voice inside my head advised picking up a box of popsicles on the way to the play-date. As it happened, more kids were at the play-date than were expected. There were 10 kids total. Us moms sat on the sidelines calmly chatting while our kids tried to kill each other. After they had been running around the yard like half crazed lunatics for about an hour and a half I asked, "Who wants popsicles?" I'm not quite sure what I was thinking by doing something stupid like that. I hadn't even retrieved the box from the freezer yet and it was around 95 degrees. Um...a word to the wise, NEVER shout out those words to a bunch of kids, on a blazing hot, summer day...after they've been running around like half crazed lunatics!
All of them stopped whatever they were doing and froze. All eyes turned to me. Did I say there were 10 kids? It seemed like there were 20 or 30 running at me all at once, screaming unintelligible strings of words. They attacked me! It was like being in the middle of a group of sharks having a feeding frenzy. I don't know how I got away from them, but I am quite certain if I had not returned immediately brandishing a new box of frozen fruit pops it would have turned ugly.
They all go back to school in a few days. My classes start up a week later. I don't know why it took us the whole summer to decide to have a play-date. Unfortunately once school starts up play-dates will be few and far between. And yet Little Man is starting pre-k! It's always weird to me how the end of summer is always sad and yet exciting at the same time.
When I was a kid things like Slip N Slide were luxuries. We ran around in the backyard with the lawn sprinklers going. My friends and I didn't have in-ground sprinkler systems either. We had those metal propeller looking things that screwed on to the end of a garden hose. These days they sell special sprinklers just for play. Things made out of plastic so you don't rip your foot open if you accidentally step on it. They feature popular kid's TV characters. (I'm having visions of Mel Brooks in Space Balls. "It's all about the moi-chandising!") When someone did have an actual Slip N Slide, it was simply a sheet of plastic. You put a hose on it, ran and then threw yourself on the ground and slid across the thing. We usually got banged up launching ourselves on the ground like that.
We currently live in a condo. So we don't have a backyard to set up a Slip N Slide or yard toys. This afternoon we had a play date with one of Little Man's preschool classmates and her siblings. We knew we would be playing in their backyard. I spoke to the other mom and their sprayer/sprinkler toys were shot. So I decided to treat the kids to a genuine Slip N Slide. It's the perfect time to buy something like that too, because all the stores are completely clearing out their summer stock.
I got the COOLEST Slip and Slide! It was normally $30; I got it marked down, then slashed 50% off. I walked out of the store with this baby for less than $8 after tax! It features a giant shark whose mouth opens and closes simply by water pressure. You actually slide right into the sharks mouth! The entire length of the slide sprays water. Why didn't they make cool toys like that when I was a kid?!
Treats
A smart voice inside my head advised picking up a box of popsicles on the way to the play-date. As it happened, more kids were at the play-date than were expected. There were 10 kids total. Us moms sat on the sidelines calmly chatting while our kids tried to kill each other. After they had been running around the yard like half crazed lunatics for about an hour and a half I asked, "Who wants popsicles?" I'm not quite sure what I was thinking by doing something stupid like that. I hadn't even retrieved the box from the freezer yet and it was around 95 degrees. Um...a word to the wise, NEVER shout out those words to a bunch of kids, on a blazing hot, summer day...after they've been running around like half crazed lunatics!
All of them stopped whatever they were doing and froze. All eyes turned to me. Did I say there were 10 kids? It seemed like there were 20 or 30 running at me all at once, screaming unintelligible strings of words. They attacked me! It was like being in the middle of a group of sharks having a feeding frenzy. I don't know how I got away from them, but I am quite certain if I had not returned immediately brandishing a new box of frozen fruit pops it would have turned ugly.
They all go back to school in a few days. My classes start up a week later. I don't know why it took us the whole summer to decide to have a play-date. Unfortunately once school starts up play-dates will be few and far between. And yet Little Man is starting pre-k! It's always weird to me how the end of summer is always sad and yet exciting at the same time.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
The slime found on the floors of Port-O-Potties
I have a new found disrespect for the evil sleaze known as "Spammers". I have an online form for clients on my website and the Spammers of the world are sinking to new lows. They are filling out the online form-every section in it no less-in the name of spam. Actually I should clarify; I'm fairly certain they have a computer filling it out. I got 2 of them in my inbox today. If this keeps happening I'm going to have to come up with a solution to avoid it. There is no way this could possibly be a good way to earn business or make money. It's a waste of my time and their computer resources. It also pisses me off.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
The DMV
The state sent me notification a few months ago that my drivers license was going to expire soon. I've been dreading going to the DMV. My state does offer online renewal but for some reason I didn't want to do it that way. So I kept procrastinating. There happens to be a DMV office about a mile from my house. This morning while pulling away from the Walgreens outside the DMV office I said to my husband, "Hey, while we're here why don't I see how long it will take to renew my license." He looked at me dubiously and made it quite clear it would probably take "hours". But I insisted it would only take a minute to poke my head inside and ask.
I stepped through the door and immediately noticed it was a quiet day at the DMV; there were very few people waiting to be helped. I smiled at the clerk behind the desk and asked how her day was. She was a bit taken aback as I'm sure people are usually a bit less polite when they go to the DMV. I asked how long it would take to renew my license and was delighted to find that they were able to take me immediately. I was in and out in under 10 minutes! How cool is that?! That never happens at the DMV!
On top of that, I discovered good news about my passport today. I've never had a passport and finally applied for one 4 months ago. Yes, you read correctly, 4 months ago. They are supposed to be operating on a 12-14 week schedule. Nope, I applied 16 weeks ago. I was starting to get really annoyed and concerned. On a whim I checked my status online and I was quite pleased to find that they completed processing my passport and I should be receiving it any day now.
I stepped through the door and immediately noticed it was a quiet day at the DMV; there were very few people waiting to be helped. I smiled at the clerk behind the desk and asked how her day was. She was a bit taken aback as I'm sure people are usually a bit less polite when they go to the DMV. I asked how long it would take to renew my license and was delighted to find that they were able to take me immediately. I was in and out in under 10 minutes! How cool is that?! That never happens at the DMV!
On top of that, I discovered good news about my passport today. I've never had a passport and finally applied for one 4 months ago. Yes, you read correctly, 4 months ago. They are supposed to be operating on a 12-14 week schedule. Nope, I applied 16 weeks ago. I was starting to get really annoyed and concerned. On a whim I checked my status online and I was quite pleased to find that they completed processing my passport and I should be receiving it any day now.
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