Tuesday, February 27, 2007

the importance of proper business ethics

I'm seeing red right now. The company that I had allowed to do the majority of my bookings for about 7 years (& I severed ties with a year ago) has been lying to clients. I've known about it. I had hoped that they would stop when I called them on it last year. They have been telling clients for at least a year and a half that I got out of the business; that I'm "not really doing that anymore". For gosh sakes, I'm a children's entertainer not a stripper!

Today I got an email from a client asking if I am still working as a clown. She had called their office and got their run-around and wanted to know if it was true. I assured her it was not true.

Don't they realize how bad it looks when they are caught in these kind of lies? Don't they realize it hurts their reputation? Ok, yes they are the Big Kahuna and I'm the little guy. There is no way I could squash them (and I have no desire to do so). They on the other hand can hurt me to some degree with this kind of nonsense. Realistically they only made a few thousand dollars a year off of me when they were booking me. They are probably grossing at least a million a year at this point. The commissions they made booking me an entire year are not even enough to pay their rent for one month.

I have plenty of clients who would love a referral for a bounce house company. If they were ethical, even though I would never let them book me anymore, I could give them quite a few referrals. (Although, therein lies the problem; they are no longer ethical. That's why I broke ties with them in the first place.) I know for a fact they have lost some very lucrative accounts because they lied to clients about me. Why would a client want to book a bounce house or rides from a company they know is not honest?

Every single time a client relays one of these weird stories to me I end up in the awkward position of wondering what on earth I should say? Even if I'm not on good terms with a company I don't want to bad-mouth them. On the other hand I don't want to look like the bad guy or, for that matter, like a fool either. In the end I told this most recent client that I decided to part ways with the Big Kahuna because their company was going in a different direction than I was.

Dumbass schmucks! At least I can sleep at night knowing I am honest.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Treason

I am against the war in Iraq. I have been from day one. I was appalled and disgusted when the Bush administration tied September 11th with Iraq while ignoring the obvious Saudi Arabia connection. I was further disgusted that the American people accepted the flagrant lies the war was based on so readily. I was disappointed that Colin Powell allowed himself to be Bush's pawn; I had previously thought more of him than that. I had hoped he would take the moral high ground and resign. (Which he did do...albeit a year or 2 too late.) Instead he did Bush's dirty work.

Admittedly I am a dove. I think that war is rarely the answer & I wasn't supportive of the first gulf war in 1991 either.

The men and women in our armed services have volunteered to do their jobs. They do so knowing that they may at some point be called to active duty. They know there is always the possibility that they may end up giving their lives for our country. This is an incredible sacrifice and one that we should never take lightly. So before we send them to war we should think long and hard about why we are doing it. We know some will come back in body bags and even more will come back injured or permanently disabled. To send our troops into a war based on lies is immoral to say the least. In my opinion it's criminal and traitorous. It's also in direct violation with Bush's supposed strong "Right to Life" stance. Bush has yet to accept responsibility or apologize for his lies.

Not only should we be very careful before we send our troops to war but we should send them with everything and anything they could possibly need to do their jobs properly. We should send them with the best body armor and weaponry technology has to offer. And when they come home they should be given immediate carte blanche to any and all health care services they need. Their military ID should be the only thing necessary to receive proper care. If a military hospital cannot take them for any reason the government should cover the expenses at any medical center that can, no questions asked!

I've heard various stories in the news over the past few years about soldiers having to wait 6 months to a year before the government would start picking up their health care tab. Many soldiers have had to go into debilitating debt to cover health care costs directly related to war injuries, at a time when they are physically unable to work. They have to fill out mountains of paperwork to file claims. They are given the run-around time and time again. This is how we as a country, "Support Our Troops"? They volunteer their lives and we repay that sacrifice by treating them like like they are worthless and disposable?!?!

The Bush administration labels anyone "unpatriotic" and says they aren't "supporting our troops" if one suggests we should pull out of Iraq. I think Bush's cronies need to re-evaluate their definition of what it means to support our troops. Because they are still lying about Iraq and it's supposed connection to September 11th and Al Qaeda.

Bush as commander and chief is responsible for our troops; he needs to show his "support" by taking care of them properly. He needs to learn to show the proper respect due to our men and women in uniform. (I'm not holding my breath on that ever happening!)

Monday, February 12, 2007

Sign on the dotted line

Today I committed to an ad in a local parenting magazine. The cost per month for my ad placement is more than my car payment. It's scary for me to take on that responsibility. I'm starting to think that I should have done this a few years ago though.

As much as I am a creature of habit, I am a firm believer that sometimes it's important to move outside of your comfort zone. Even though it can be scary it can be a wonderful way to grow and to learn things about yourself.

I got lazy. Years ago I turned all of my booking and scheduling over to a company. It was great because it made my life easier. But in essence I was putting all my eggs in one basket. I got screwed. Then I turned all my booking over to another company. That was the lazy part. I didn't want the responsibility of dealing with clients, of booking everything, of running a business. I just wanted to do my gigs.

The second time around instead of turning everything over to the second company, I should have done what I am doing now. So yes it's scary for me. My stomach has been tied in knots. But I see possibilities! I see potential! And I can do whatever I want. (I hope I feel this way a year from now!)

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Chili Peppers

My 4 year old requests The Red Hot Chili Peppers by name. He wants me to make him a Peppers compilation disk, "so I can listen to it in my room." Part of me thinks that's pretty cool. Part of me wonders if this is normal for a 4 year old? I tried introducing him to Jimi Hendrix as well but unfortunately he wasn't interested. I have hope yet though. Crosstown Traffic is my all time favorite Hendrix tune. He would love it if he would give it a chance.

edited to add: I made the CD this evening (February 26th). It came out great. Little Man and my husband both love it. Interestingly enough, on itunes I found a live version of the Chili Peppers covering Crosstown Traffic! As always, I know my kid; he LOVES it! He started dancing around my home office like a maniac when he heard it pouring out of my crappy computer speakers.

stress redux

The issues that have been stressing me out are job related. About a year ago I went through a little professional upheaval. Now I'm going through another one. This one is a little different than last years. On Friday it came to a head and I was able to finally deal with it and come to a resolution. The resolution is a good thing. However being the fierce creature of habit I am, I don't handle change well. Last night I got no sleep in anticipation of putting my plans (my resolution) into action. My appetite has dropped this week as well. I will probably loose a few pounds over the next month or so from the stress. While I need to loose a few pounds this is not the way I like to loose weight.

In a nutshell, I'm restructuring the way I do my scheduling and bookings (children's entertainer that I am). I have a hard time believing I was even capable of reducing the situation into one sentance. In a month or so I think the situation will sit much more comfortably with me and I'm looking forward to that.

Everyone plays, everyone wins

Life is full of competition and conflict. When you are 4 years old the last thing you need is to deal with competitive attitudes. You have plenty of time to deal with those issues as you get older. A 4 year old should be spending their time doing what 4 year olds do best-playing and having fun. That's what being 4 should be all about.

Our local YMCA* uses the philosophy of "Everyone Plays, Everyone Wins!" for their kids team sports leagues. It's a philosophy that is highly valued with the families that participate. It is why we signed our 4 year old up for this season's flag football league with the Y. Yes, they have a league for 4 year olds. Actually it's 3-5 year olds. No one keeps score, no one tackles. Everyone does play (including girls-which is important to this feminist) and everyone wins, because everyone is having fun. At the end of the season all the kids get a trophy.

I normally work on weekends, but as it happens I had today off. So I went with my men (husband and son) to the game today. Watching 3-5 year olds playing team sports is funny and cute. Halfway through the game one player ran over to his mom on the sidelines announcing, "Mommy, I have to go potty!". (I'd love to see a pro-football player doing that!) In between plays the kids do things that little kids do, like picking their nose, staring into outer space singing and shuffling their feet. During one play, one boy made a touchdown and he just kept running past the endzone, and running and running...with the other kids following him. Most of the game they just run around the field with happy grins on their faces experiencing the sheer joy of playing.

The kids are there for an hour. The first 20 minutes they practice. The game lasts about 40 minutes. During the last 10 minutes you can see they are all getting tired. They cry much easier if they fall down, bump into another player, or have their flag pulled. But they leave feeling proud of themselves and they are in the process of learning a very valuable life lesson-they are learning about fair play.

I am not into sports. I sat on the sidelines today glassy eyed and ready to fall asleep. It didn't matter that my kid was out there playing. I don't "get" sports. But I get the concept of "Everyone Plays, Everyone Wins!" I also understand the concept of fair play. So I'm glad my kid was out there playing today.

*Our local YMCA doesn't have a website I could link to.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Stress and my drugs of choice

I am my mother's daughter. (That is a scary thought sometimes.) She doesn't handle stress well. That's probably because she simply doesn't handle it. I am only slightly better than my mother. I really need to just let things go.

I've been stressing this week. The past few days during my daily workout I worked HARD! I go to Jazzercise ("Come on girls-let's see those big Jazz hands!") I figure if my options are Jazzercise or alcohol, the former is a much healthier bet. The past 3 days I left class very sweaty and red faced. Typically I sweat when it's hot and humid outside, but I don't normally sweat much during my workout. I suppose orgasm would help too, unfortunately stress usually puts a damper on my libido (much to my husband's dismay).

A little St. John's Wort helps take the edge off of stress and anxiety too. And chocolate! Gosh I don't think I could live without chocolate. My favorites are Godiva Truffles (specifically the Extra Dark Chocolate Truffles and the Double Chocolate Raspberry Truffles.) I am also partial to Dagoba Chocolate Lavender Bars and Endangered Species Bars with dark chocolate and blueberries (the Sea Turtle wrapper). I have chocolate on the brain. Chocolate is my friend.

There are some issues bothering me this week and I'll be happy once they have been addressed and are gone. (If I can just keep myself from wringing a certain someone's neck!) But I know I'm also a tad hormonal right now. Once my monthly comes I will feel a tide of relief. I am not one of those women who views it as a curse or something that is horrible. I accept it as part of who I am as a woman. I think these should be available in every corner drugstore (of course that won't happen because it would cause most women to realize that disposable feminine products are obsolete). For the past 5 years I've also had considerably less pms than I used to. But right now, this month, I'm feeling hormonal. It will not be a curse, but a blessing in a few days when my monthly comes. The minute it does the stress will wash away with it. It always does.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Half-time at the Superbowl

The Superbowl-brought to you by the makers of Cialis and Viagra!

The Superbowl Committee have no qualms pushing drugs on people or ads featuring scantily clad models serving as nothing but window dressing. They are however so prude that they couldn't bear to see Janet Jackson's exposed boob for a split second. So let me get this straight; it's ok to talk about erectile dysfunction on prime time television and using girls in bikinis to sell cars and beer, but an actual boob is BAD! Did I get that right? I keep picturing a small child saying, "Daddy, what's rec-tile dis-fuck-shun?" I could go on a whole tirade about sexual double standards in our society, but for now I'll let that rant go.

Since the Janet Jackson boobie-gate fiasco the Superbowl Committee has made a concerted effort to book "clean" acts for their half-time shows. They have had Sir Paul McCartney and The Rolling Stones, both of whom received rather tepid reactions. So this year they booked (drumroll please) Prince.

I must assume that they are not aware that much of Prince's music is heavily sexual in content. I must assume that they are not aware that Prince wrote the song Sexy M.F.. I will add that I personally think Prince is pretty darn cool and I happen to love the song Sexy M.F.. (I remember the first time I heard it the summer I turned 16.) But if your aim is to book acts that won't offend mid-western sensibilities (because really that is the issue) Prince is not your man.

Admittedly I have no idea on earth what Prince plans on playing tonight. I have no idea why they chose him. While I won't be watching the Superbowl (I could care less about a bunch of grown men tossing around a ball) I will probably check out the half-time show. In all likelihood Prince will go onstage and perform some of his tamer songs. But he has never really been one to shy away from controversy. There is always the chance that he might do something outrageous. I personally think something daring would be more fun and well...entertaining than what the committee has in mind. What a shame that they will most likely have a delay on his performance. (Just in case.)

Considering Superbowl demographics and what they are trying to achieve when booking half-time acts, I'm surprised they aren't looking more seriously at country music rather than rock. Tim McGraw, Faith Hill and Gretchen Wilson would all probably be big hits at the Superbowl. But I'm starting to think the committee simply doesn't know who their demographic is.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Idol torture

I am a professional children's entertainer working the birthday party circuit. A few months ago I received a request from a client for a custom party package inspired by the TV show American Idol. The ensuing party went incredibly smoothly and was a smash hit. It was fun! I set up my sound system and borrowed my friends karaoke machine. The main focus was highlighting the kids as performers. No judging-everyone is a star! I decided to include it as one of my standard offerings.

The epitome of irony is that I have absolutely no desire to actually watch American Idol the show. When I put the package together I was perfectly aware that I would end up having to watch it, at least some of the time. I've been avoiding it thus far since this season started a few weeks ago. (Avoiding it like the plague!) As it happens I have an Idol themed gig scheduled this coming weekend. I figured it might be a good idea to brush up on the show in anticipation of the upcoming event. I reluctantly tuned in this week for the first time ever. I typed most of this and posted it on a message board I frequent, as I was watching the show.

Someone please put me out of my misery. Just shoot me now and get it over with. A slow painful death might be better than watching that show. I think I would rather scrub a porta-potty at a large outdoor festival with a small toothbrush. I would rather watch paint dry. I would rather poke my eyeballs out with an ice pick. I would rather sit in bumper to bumper traffic during the height of rush hour. (I detest rush hour.) I would rather take on a birthday party of 25 screaming boys, age 12. (Actually I take back that last one.) The show is awful. It's horrendous. Admittedly I don't watch much TV. I miss Real Time With Bill Maher and Penn & Teller's Bullshit Show.

Give me Joni Mitchell, Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, The Who, Fleetwood Mac, Miles Davis-UUUuuggggggghhhhh!!! But I dread the next time I have to sit down and watch the disaster that is American Idol.

Why blog?

I am a blog virgin. This is my first post. I suppose I decided to give this a whirl to have a place to park my thoughts. Harry Potter aficionados-of which I am one-are familiar with the pensieve. (I wish I knew where I could buy one.) The thing about a pensieve is that it is used specifically to view or store memories. My purposes go a bit beyond that. I'm not sure I'll even stick with this as I've never been consistent in using paper and pen journals.

I will try my best to avoid butchering the English language, although at times I may be inclined to use crude and colorful language. It occurs to me that a blog provides me with a fantastic opportunity to use more creative descriptions of people or subjects that annoy me. For example, instead of using "asshole", "butthead" or "moron-boy" I should probably say something more along the lines of "the incredibly inept ignoramus who currently occupies the oval office". (On second thought, "moron-boy" takes up significantly less space in a sentence. November of 2008 is entirely too far away.)

I will most likely be writing about many different subjects, including politics, religion, sex and pop culture. Aside from those subjects my livelihood is working with children, so I will probably be mentioning some of my experiences with them as well.