The disaster area that is my home office

I desperately need to completely purge and reorganize my home office. It needs to be done. I am afraid of the task. I approached natural childbirth (after much research I made the educated decision to birth at home with a midwife) with considerably less fear or trepidation than I now face what awaits me in this room. I am actually in the room typing this-I just mentally block out the mess.

I had no qualms about childbirth; I knew in my heart it was something I was totally capable of. I know that goes against cultural norms. My beliefs on pregnancy and childbirth are decidedly outside of the mainstream. You couldn't drag me kicking and screaming into a hospital to give birth. Epidural? No, I like my spinal cord just the way it is thank you very much. Narcotics? No, I would like my baby's heart rate and breathing to be normal and healthy thank you very much. IV? Absolutely not. Labor flat on my back in a hospital bed? Are you joking?! That makes it hurt far more than squatting or sitting on all fours! C-section? Fuck that! Keep your knives away from my body!!! No, I will not keep my mouth shut and stay quiet like a good, complaisant little girl and blindly accept whatever baloney you tell me! I am capable of thinking for myself.

Pregnancy and childbirth are not diseases to be treated and controlled. They are normal and healthy functions of a female body. Yes childbirth was painful (it was also incredibly intense, beautiful and empowering). I handled it just fine without anyone poking, prodding or interfering with my body. I am a complete wuss too. I have a pathetic, almost non-existent, threshold for pain. I am not particularly brave or a hero. If I can handle natural childbirth anyone can. I am all too aware that a majority of American women would think I am a freak.

Pregnancy and natural childbirth? Piece of cake! Yet I am terrified about the prospect of cleaning out this room! I have to bring our stuff to our accountant to get our taxes done. It was a nightmare finding everything in this room. We did find it and I am ready to bring everything in. But, Oh-My-Gosh!!! At one point I couldn't find my husbands W-2 form. I was actually able to find all of my stuff just fine-that was the easy part because I knew where it was. In this mess I had no problem finding my 1099's. I didn't know where his stuff was though. I went in the master bathroom, turned off the light and cried in the dark. So I know it's reached a point that I actually have to face this mess and get it cleaned up.

I have Saturday off right now. If I were smart I would clean everything out this week and then bring in the big guns on Saturday to organize everything. The big guns being my physically diminutive mother (she's about 4'10" tall). She missed her calling. She should have set out to become a professional organizer. She is a demon when it comes to organizing things. This office is so far gone I don't know what to do with it. If I can just clean out the clutter and papers that need to be dumped in the garbage, she would take one look in here and be able to see exactly what to do with everything. Unfortunately the papers are the worst of the mess. They are what scare me the most about this room. In addition I swear they multiply and breed! Frankly I'm surprised I don't have nightmares about the papers chasing me.