Looser Boy

I dated a guy in the mid 1990's, who turned out to be a waste of my time. The first moment I met him, my immediate reaction was that he seemed a bit shallow. But a friend introduced us and I thought I shouldn't be so quick to judge; after all, she must have had a reason for introducing us. I figured I should give him a chance. I'll call him LB, short for Looser Boy, here.

I ended up dating him for a short time. His friends turned out to be complete jerks. The fact that he freely chose to hang out with losers like that was a sign that concerned me, but one I initially ignored. While he was nice to me when we were alone, in general he tended to follow the herd in their presence. They reminded me of infantile caricature frat boys from movies; throwing food in restaurants to be funny for example. (Those guys made Stifler from the American Pie movies look mature and intellectual.) They made fun of me behind my back and he never said a word in my defense. He just followed his buddies like the sheep he was. And no, they weren't college kids. I was in my early 20's, but they were 5-8 years older than I was. I couldn't comprehend how guys in their mid to late 20's could consistently act like Neanderthals. I didn't understand why he chose such lame people for friends.

Toward the very end of our relationship, there was an incident at a concert where his friends screamed insults and taunts at a few wheelchair bound people in the handicapped section. Fortunately the crowd at large was so loud no one beyond our group heard. But I was beyond mortified; I was absolutely livid. When LB realized how upset I was and why, instead of being supportive, he asked me why I was ruining his time. Through slit eyes and flared nostrils, I looked down my nose at him and demanded, "Why are your friends ruining my time?!" The only reason I didn't dump him there and then was because I didn't have enough cab fare to get home. I was stuck, but I was also done with LB.

There were other aspects about his personality and our sexual relationship that made it abundantly clear how self-centered and selfish he was. He would attempt to force me to watch porn I wasn't comfortable with or try to coerce me into doing things outside my comfort zone. I however stuck to my guns. I am a firm believer in respecting a lover's boundaries. So all he succeeded in doing was earn my lack of trust.

Needless to say, I dumped him. It was clear that if I stayed with him it had the potential to get serious (he seemed to be getting serious). There was no way I wanted to spend my life with him. He wanted a long term relationship, but I would never stay with someone who showed such a lack of regard for my feelings.

A year later I dated a guy who coincidentally knew one of his friends. Ironically, she warned him to watch out for me. LB apparently claimed he broke up with me because I was pressuring him for marriage! (I had to laugh at that one.) I guess he wasn't comfortable telling his friends I was the one that broke it off. The really sad part is I don't think he ever completely comprehended why I left him. He just didn't get it.

So fast forward to 2008. Out of curiosity, the other day I googled his name. Low and behold...I found mondo dirt. We are knee deep in a recession that is being largely affected by the current mortgage crisis. Part of said crisis deals with sleaze-ball financiers who prey on people that cannot afford their mortgage and credit payments. They fed empty promises to vulnerable people claiming a helping hand in refinancing to get these people back on firm financial ground. In reality they ended up foreclosing and essentially stealing people's homes. They are nasty vultures. Well it turns out LB is named among a list of defendants in a criminal case against one of those companies. The state is going after him and his cronies. In short, Looser Boy is accused of being one of those vultures.

On top of that he's involved in an insurance fraud case. He's again named as a financier involved with an apartment complex destroyed by a hurricane several years ago. Apparently the majority of the insurance money was never used to repair the complex, as it was marked for, and now the state is going after them.

Very sad indeed. He is educated, and back when we dated he had a good job. If he continued on that path and invested his money wisely he would have been quite comfortable. Not necessarily rich, but definitely comfortable; upper middle class. Instead there's a good chance he's facing possible jail time. How sad.